Glee - "Hold on to Sixteen"

Season 3, Episode 8

I would like to start off with an apology for not reviewing last week’s episode. I know that I tweeted like three different times that I was going to have the review ready by such-and-such time, but it never materialized. The episode was so terrible, that even when I finally found a hook for the piece (and it was pretty good, if I do say so myself), I just couldn’t pull myself through the episode’s muck once again, and every time I started trying to write out just why the episode was so horrible, my brain shut down. Now, Glee’s done terrible episodes in the past, and even if that was perhaps the worse one it’s made, I still in theory should have been able to get that review done.

But I think what was so devastating about last week’s episode was that up until that point, I was actually sense a gradual uptick in overall quality in the show. Even though the season had its share of bad episodes, I still felt like the good outweighed the bad. “I Kissed a Girl” destroyed that illusion, and I was forced to accept that Glee had given up on its promise to put story first. This disillusionment only grew with news about Ricky Martin’sguest star turn and the Michael Jackson episode, both of which will happen early next year, and it was solidified with the return of CHORD OVERSTREET tonight. (By the laws of the internet, I am obligated to type his name in all caps.) Tonight’s episode may have been slightly better dramatically, but in the sense that it only seemed to cement the chaos of last week, it actually became even worse.

At this point, Glee’s competition-centered episodes have fallen into a fairly standard routine. The episode catches up with the ongoing drama and/or creates some new drama for about the first half of the episode, and then the next twenty or so minutes are spent on the competition, and then whatever’s left over is used for reflection time on the win or less (in tonight’s case, both) before closing out with an upbeat number. Sure, it’s very lazy creatively speaking, but it also provided stability, something that this show usually needs in order to tell better stories, and especially good in keeping plots from going too far out of control.

Of course, it doesn’t help when the stories that it decides to work with are just completely unsalvageable.

Let’s start with Quinn, shall we? For reasons that I will never understand, the writers seem to have taken a perverse delight into transforming her from a normal teenage girl to THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD. I’m not saying that Quinn has always been a paragon of moral fortitude, but it amazes me how far the character has fallen in the past few months, and how misogynistic that fall has been toward her. In the past few episodes she has tried a variety of ways to get Beth back from Emma, and to find a man to complete her and/or get her knocked up again. It’s an ugly picture, and one that’s not worthy of Dianna Argon’s talents.

Then of course there was Rachel’s suspension, which…did what exactly? Just kept her from performing in sectionals, and absolutely nothing bad came from it? Right. Moving on…

Blaine and Finn “finally” had it out over the latter’s jealousy about Blaine joining New Directions. While I recognizing that this has been technically brewing for a few episodes now, I have to put “finally” in quotes because of how quickly everything seemed to explode tonight, and for no other reason than because the writers had nothing better to do. (Seriously, what’s with all the yelling?)

Oh, and speaking of Blaine, that one dude from Dalton who’s name I can’t remember popped up again to act uncomfortably forward with him, and Kurt was taking a shine to any of his shit. (Oh, snap!)

Mike’s apparently decided to bend to his Dad’s demands that he go to give up his dancing dreams and go to medical school, in order to restore order to his nuclear family. Awww, that’s sweet. Luckily, Tina’s there to call him out for the coward that he really is, and even forces a meeting with Mr. Chang to attempt to change his mind. (That sly minx. )

Oh, and of course New Direction had to worry about going against the all-girl Trouble Tones at Sections, which were conveniently held at McKinley High. (SO. MUCH. DRAMA.)

I wish that I could say that was the end of all the plot points for the episode, but this Glee, not some normal show where the writers know the limits of story economy. Because we also had the return of CHORD “Sam ‘Trouty Mouth’ Evans” OVERSTREET because the contract negotiations finally went through Finn really needed his help, you guys. In truth, it’s hard to take Sam’s return seriously because the writers are treating him almost as if he’s never left, and it makes for some very forced plot development. (Well, that and his you-have-got-to-be-fucking-with-us rendition of Toby Keith’s nobody-was-supposed-to-take-this-seriously song “Red Solo Cup”.)

Sam quickly reintegrates himself with New Directions, and even manages to help sex up their act, despite Blaine’s loud and unmotivated reactions. The only thing that didn’t return to normal was his relationship with Mercedes (insomuch as that was normal to begin with) but she was smiling at him even more than she was smiled at a tray full of tater tots, so we know it’s only a matter of time…

……

Sorry. I know that I just got a little recap-heavy there (and frankly a bit snippy), especially considering that’s not my usual style, and I may have thrown some of you there.

But there’s a point to this I swear, beyond the usual “look at what crazy shit the show threw at us this week” style of criticism. While the competition formula hasn’t been applicable to all episodes (I’m seem to recall that the show took these things more seriously in season one, though it’s quite possible that I’m looking at it through rose-colored glasses), the one thing that’s been consistent is that they’ve always been unprepared and/or had to make grand changes to their set last minute, and they STILL MANAGE TO PULL IT OFF.

While this was a move that worked in season one, because the writers were doing so to create drama, now it’s just become a way from them not to have to worry about creating any sort of ongoing plot week-to-week, and just to deal with the competitions as they arise. (I know, I know. But this logic the show should even both doing competitions. But this is Glee, where logic goes to die.) And when you couple that with the knowledge that this show is based on musical numbers, we means that they somehow will succeed in getting everything together, it just robs the episode of any possible tension.

I bring this up – as well as the overly-long recap above – because I have a similar reactions to how all the back stage drama wrapped up. Even with a modicum of planning, New Directions still manages to glee the pants off of Trouble Tone and the Unitards (really?), undoubtedly because they got to perform three numbers, where the other groups only got to do one. (Although considering how boring those second and third numbers were, maybe it all balanced out.) Okay, I kid. I’m sure that the other two groups also did two other numbers, and that we just didn’t see them. But that in and of itself is a problem. It’s fine that we have protagonists, and that we know who they are, but the episode leaned on their perspective so heavily that I doubt anyone was surprised that they won. Where’s the difficulty for them? And where’s the rising above said difficulties that made season one so effective?

And this stacked-deck view continued on to their personal problems. Quinn got enough talking-tos by other people that she finally learned to “hold on to sixteen as long as [she] can” (though really, she’s seventeen). She’s even applying to Yale! Mike’s dad showed up at Sectionals as well, and was so impressed at his sons dance moves that he had a change of heart, so that problem’s cleared up. Rachel’s suspension went by without any complications. Sam’s sexy dance moves (combined with Trouble Tone’s really shitty ones) helped New Directions win the competition. And, in a bit of maneuvering that I don’t fully understand, the Trouble Tones (okay, the only three we care about, plus Sugar) join back up with New Directions, under some vague promise that they will get to perform a song at the next competition.

So everything’s hunky-dory, right?

But to what end? You know, I think it’s great that the glee club has gone back to being nice to one another, I really do – except for the tiny fact that none of it was earned. The show has made a big deal over all the tension among the group, throughout this season and with an extra forceful reminder going into the competition tonight, that for the group to suddenly all come back together again doesn’t seem to have a purpose. Maybe it’s because the writer’s are building to the next stage (as much as this show builds to anything) and they need the group together again for that to happen.

Or maybe it’s because next week the entire glee club has to celebrate Christmas.

Fuck if I know.