SNL - "Jason Segel/Florence + The Machine"

Season 37, Episode 7

Much like Charlie Day before him, Jason Segel is the kind of actor who just seems a bit too for SNL school, the kind of actor whose talent I fear will get subsumed to some mediocre sketches. Luckily, Segel’s got too things going for him: One, he’s far more mainstream than Day ever was. And two, given that he’s here to promote The Muppets, odds are they be able to prop up at least one sketch. Well, let’s see how he did…

Cold Open – Mitt Romney Raw & Unleashed: What poll is NBC/SNL getting basing this sketch off of? Because I know that in certain other polls, it’s not Romney who’s leading the pack, but rather Newt Gingrich (yes, it appears as if the GOP is circling back around with its nominees.) Anyways, doing a sketch based on Romney is bad for exactly the reason this sketch was done: because he’s boring. I get that the idea of the sketch was that Romney “getting wild” isn’t exactly wild, but this is SNL, and subtle sketches don’t really have a place on this show. They should have gone big or gone home. (That being said, I still like Sudeikis’ Romney impression, and his deadpan delivery did manage to get a few laughs out of me.)

Monologue: Well, that didn’t take long. Given why Segel is on the show, an appearance by the Muppets was more or less guaranteed, but for them to get it just right out off the bat seems just a bit defeatist on the show’s part. Additionally, Segel singing seems like the lazy choice, and the “I thought I was hosting” gag is one of the oldest in the book. That being said, anything with the Muppets automatically slaps a big smile on my face (I know, I’m weak), and I like how they made the Muppets here insecure and petty. It added an extra level to make this monologue work better than it should have.

Red Flag: Fuck, not this shit again. Hell, even knowing the joke this time around didn’t make it any funnier.

(Okay, seeing Kermit at the camera during the mid-commercial tease was pretty cool.)

Regis’ Replacement: This is one of those “It’s Not a Sketch, It’s a String of Impersonations” situations, which either means that you love it or hate it. Me, I’m a sucker for these bits, which tend to rise and fall based on the level of performances that are on display, and this sketch had a pretty good batch. Favorites include Sudeikis’s smarmy Gervais, Armisen’s manic George Lopez, Hader’s creepy Garrison Keillor, Elliot’s awesome Zooey Deschanel, and Pharaoh’s Denzel Washington, just because.  Sadly, the only truly negative impression was Pedrad’s Kelly, but it’s not like it was necessitated by the needs of the sketch. She was just there to play the straight man.  

Me-Time Mattress: So it was a commercial that was just a string of masturbation. Not like it’s the first time we’ve seen that. However, I think Segel sold the facial expressions here, and the sketch was creative enough with the euphemisms that this sketch was able to get a pass. But just barely.

The Vogelcheks: Oh dear god. The “overly affectionate group of people” sketch, which is perhaps the laziest in the show’s entire repertoire. I recognize that the sketch tried to mix it up just bit by having the family do more than just kiss each other, but doing so just made the sketch seem schizophrenic in addition to lazy. (Oh, and Paul Rudd showed up, I guess because he and Segel stared together in that one movie that one time.)

(Florence + The Machine is no Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem. That is all.)

Weekend Update: So let’s just blow past the fact that SNL just contradicted its cold open with Meyer’s opening joke, and just focus on the bits within….Jon Huntsman appearance was just awkward, both because like Mitt Romney, he doesn’t really have an edge, but also because well, he’s not that funny….And then there was Really? With Seth and Kermit, which of course, as with the monologue, felt as if the show was trying to pair two proven elements together in order to generate laughs. Of course, it worked, because Kermit is like peanut butter, he goes well with everything. I especially enjoyed his exasperated “really?”.

Mitch Gurtz Open Mic: Where to start with this one? Well, I guess the best way to describe it as a biplor sort of sketch, as we had to sit through the repeated jokes of Janelle and Louis, neither of which was all that funny. Louis’ dramatic reveal felt like it could have gone somewhere – much like “All My Children Wrap Party” in the premiere – but it just went back to the same two unfunny beats. Even worse, the sketch just sort of…ended.

A New Jack Thanksgiving: The show has done these music-genre-meets-random-subject-matter sketches before (and man if this isn’t just the night for recurring sketch formats), and while I’ve enjoyed the past ones to varying levels of success, for whatever reason this one just flat one didn’t work. None of the songs were all that creative, and I just don’t think New Jack Swing makes for the best spoof material. Also, what was with the random Florence appearance? Her voice may be good, but it is not New Jack material.

Digital Short – Seducing Women Through Chess: Man, that was 80s-tastic! But, no really, the idea of this sketch may have been simple, but I think it was effective, especially as they built up the skills to glass-eating and hiring a prostitute.  (This sketch was apparently also going for weirdest celebrity appearance with Olivia Wilde showing up, just because.)

Andre the Giant Chooses an Ice Cream Flavor: Much like many “Celebrity does Such-and-Such Thing” sketch, this was totally stupid, but it made me laugh nonetheless. Segel sold that Andre The Giant impression, and that took some skill.

The Blue Jean Committee: So, a band sings a song with wordy verses, and the crowd jams out to it? That’s funny how, exactly. Not even the Muppets – or any of the other celeb cameos, as apparently they all had to make an appearance – could have saved this sketch.

Good nights: WHY DID THEY RUIN THE MUPPET MAGIC????? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

So, that happened. While it started out strong with the monologue and the following sketch, the rest of the night just slowly and gradually declined in quality. I can’t believe I stayed up for this.

Best Sketch – Regis’ Replacement

Worst Sketch – The Blue Jean Committee

Key Performer – Kermit, for making everything just a little better

Most Disturbing Image – The good nights, for destroying the illusion of Muppet magic.

In Two Weeks: SNL goes all HBO as Steve Buscemi hosts, and The Black Keys just prays that somebody remembers who they are.

Quotes, Etc.:

“And therefore I shall become 15 to 17 percent more edgy.”

“That must have rocked, huh father?”

“It rocked harder than a Josh Groban concert.”

“Guys, I’m starting to worry about something…” “Well, have you considered taking Flomax?”

“Well for one, half of you aren’t even wearing any pants.”

“I WILL ABSORB YOU.”

“And if they can’t answer because their mouth is full of bacon, they have high cholesterol.”

“Also, you gotta be cool with getting kidnapped forever.”

“Whether he’s convicted or not, he will be sentenced to a life of being reminded of ‘that time you shot me’.”

“I kid came to my door dressed as a pirate. I thought he was supposed to Dom Deluise.”

“Which is a shame, because up until that point it has been a lovely bar mitzvah.”

“I’m Little Richard’s white half brother, Medium Richard.”

“And the baby’s lying in a grave…he’s fine, though.”

“That song later became the theme to a prominent porno.”