SNL - "Alec Baldwin/Radiohead"

Season 37, Episode 1

A wide gulf in the quality of sketches makes for a disorienting return

Cold Open: For all the ways for a political cold open to start, Bill Hader’s Sheppard Smith impression isn’t the worst way for the season to come back. Unfortunately, the rest of the sketch couldn’t be that good. Loaded with what felt like half of the cast, this sketch was too long by half, as it sought to make sure it could pack in jokes about all of the currently GOP candidates. I’m sure that the writers have stockpiled a lot of political jokes over the summer, but they laid them on too think here, and it just gold old – and boring – fast. It there had been more of conceit to this sketch it might have worked, but as is, it  was just a string of Republican jokes without any connective tissues. (Oh, and what were those Huntsman jokes about? If you can’t come up with some real jokes about him, why bother putting him in the sketch?)

Monologue: It feels like for the past several years now, whenever either Alec Baldwin or Steve Martin host the show, it has become obligatory to mention their “rivalry”. I was hoping that when Baldwin mentioned Schweddy Balls ice cream and the backlash against it, the monologue would go somewhere else, but no such luck. No, instead we had to sit through some tired steroid jokes and some gross out gags about pee. Plus, a weird cameo from Seth Rogan?

Red Flag: In truth, I didn’t get the joke at first. I was so busy thinking we were watching a specific parody that I didn’t catch that the joke was in the name. (Also not helpful: I’m just not used to using the idiom “red flag” to mean “warning side”. No idea why, that’s just the way it is.) Anyways, I doubt it would have found it funny even if I hadn’t gotten the joke. The first few jokes weren’t extreme enough “red flags” to be funny. All told, it was a poorly set-up, poorly executed joke.

All My Children Farewell Party: Yes, having a farewell party in which the crew of a soap opera goes through their own soapy reveals is an easy joke. But I’m a sucker for such jokes, and the cast really gave it their all. Plus, I enjoyed how the joke kept getting more and more ridiculous – both in the status of the crew member and their fate. That plus the fact that they kept coming back to the line “or was I pushed?” so many times, the sketch became just absurd enough to work.

Eye on Buffalo: Man, don’t you just hate it when there’s a delay between studio and the reporter in the field? Apparently SNL writers do. Oh, and don’t tell nobody, but apparently Botox jokes are making a comeback.

Weekend Update: Seth Meyers did his usual jokes….”Tony Bennet at the movies” sounds like it was a returning joke, but for the life of me, I can’t understand why. Funny voices do not make for funny jokes. The show should also learn when to cut a joke short….And apparently that was the only sketch that WU was doing this week. Generally I’m not a fan of them, but it does feel weird for there to be only one, right?

Who’s on Top?: Game show sketches, for whatever reason, tend to be among the most consistently funny sketches that the show does, and this was no exception. While the cast could have come off as crass and homophobic, the sketch played it smart by making sure we were laughing at the pairings, and not the fact that they were having gay sex. Luckily, each of the pairings just weirder and weirder, so that the joke didn’t get old.

Top Gun Screen Tests: Ah yes, the “excuse to throw together a bunch of celebrity impersonations” sketch. Man, they’re just pulling out all the staples tonight. Admittedly there’s something calculated about these sketched that I should find frustrating, but when they pile on impersonation on top of impersonation, I usually can’t help but be won over by the end. Also, bonus points to Taran Killam for his Bobcat Goldthwait impersonation.

Date with a Child Psychologist: “Nasim Pedrad walks around and cries” is just a weak idea for a sketch. I think this could have been an interesting showdown between Pedrad’s daughter and Baldwin’s father, but there wasn’t any real dynamic action to this sketch.

Angels in the Trenches: Here we are, in the “Weird Sketch” slot, and the sketch wasn’t really all that weird. In fact, I’m pretty sure that I’ve seen a “weird death whishes” sketch before. The jokes themselves were kind of hit or miss, and only really got funny towards the end. But it’s still disappointing as it fails to live up to the freedom of the 12:55/11:55c slot.

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The worst part about this season premiere wasn’t that it was mostly bad, it was that there was a wide ocean between the quality of the good sketches and the lack of quality of the bad sketches was so vast as to be disorienting. It’s almost as if the writers are spread out among two rooms, and only one room was able to come up with good sketches. While bad sketches aren’t anything new on SNL – in fact, I pretty much expect it at this point – the fact that this episode was so bad after the show’s been off for 4 months is not a good sign. Not that the show is desperate for the ratings, but if they were hoping to draw in some more eyeballs, I’m betting most people were scared away by this outing.

Programming note: If you liked Radiohead here, or just like the band in general, they'll be on an hour-long episode of The Colbert Report this Monday at 11:30/10:30c.

Best Sketch – Who’s on Top?

Worst Sketch – Date with a Child Psychologist

Next Week: Melissa McCarthy once again reminds us she was in Bridesmaids while we pretend that we like her other show, while Lady Antebellum keeping on pretending that they aren’t country.

Quotes, Etc.:

“Good evening, I’m Sheppard Smith, and I come from a city full of secrets.”

“Next to Newt Gingrich, I have a normal-sized head.”

“Oh, Alec Baldwin, you don’t even know how to pronounce the word ‘ne-mee-sis’.”

“Not so fast…Oh, wrong room. So sorry.”

“Or was I pushed?????”

“Which is unfortunate, since America is much better at warfare than math.”

“Gay community centers?....Oh gyms. They went to gyms.”

“Cause we’ve all thought ‘Come at me faster, other people’s sonograms.’”

“That guy’s got snow on the roof and fire in the oven!”

“She said the jewelry was just a way to support her true passion, murdering other people for their hair.”

“The worst part is that at least one guy heard that, perked up and said ‘Fiiiinnnalllly!’”

“And if you asked me which humans would finally beat the machines, I would not have guessed supermarket cashiers.”

“As we all know, when two gay men have sex…”

“10 more minutes.” “Don’t rush me.”

“You forgot Depardieu is French, and therefore a bottom.”

“There is no top, they trade off position, it’s a circle of life!”

“That’s right. It’s a smart game.”

“Paul Giamatti…” “The other guy.” “Correct!”

“Ari’s on top…while Scott Caan watches!”

“This is not a gay film? But it says here we play volleyball in jean shorts.”

“One last thing: Tell my son that a cripple isn’t a full human being.”