Modern Family - "Phil on Wire"

Season 3, Episode 3

Not a whole lot of meat on this bone

Last week, in my breakdown of Modern Family’s overall shortcomings, I mentioned that sometimes the show can turn what would be actual an plotline into a runner, a string of jokes that while funny, would never be as satisfying as an actual plot. I also said that MF uses these runners in lieu of a full-fledged story; while this criticism was mostly lodged against the side plots that are concurrent to actual plots, “Phil on Wire” brings this complaint into a whole new light.

Let’s break down the stories of tonight’s episode, shall we? Gloria is jealous how much attention Jay gives the dog. Cam, with Mitch in tow, goes on a juice fast, which causes him to act irrationally. Phil tries to learn how to walk a tightrope/wire. Luke hides a bag of junk food. Claire gets in repeated confrontations with the school parking attendant. Alex and Haley land in the same math class, and they strike a deal for Haley to cheat off of Alex while Alex rides Haley’s popularity coattails. That’s six stories, none of which take more than a few scenes to tell, and in no way is any one of them more prominent than the other. (More parallels with last week’s list: All the families were mostly isolated and at least three of these are sitcom stories that you have seen before. Cam may not have acted super-gay tonight, but that’s only because the plot felt like one big fat joke, which is in no way an improvement.)

All of this wouldn’t be so bad – in fact, there’s a bit of an artistic slant to having all these short little vignettes mixed in with one another – but the show ended up acting as if there was a greater theme at play here. Somehow, in the last minute or two, the show brought back the hackneyed voiceover in an attempt to turn Phil’s small triumph into a grand lesson of “showing, not telling”. (Let’s not even delve into the irony of the meta nature of that statement.) It’s a moral that didn’t make sense to any story outside of Claire’s story (that’s right, not even Phil’s), and it just felt forced. (Also, I guess there was some sort of moral to Cam and Mitchell’s story with the whole “I love you just the way you are” sentiment, but that’s clichéd and lazy.)

Was tonight’s episode funny? Sure. But it didn’t feel very substantial, and as a result, there’s not much I can really write about it. Instead, you can just go read my review of tonight’s Happy Endings premiere.

Quotes, Etc:

I’m betting this story spun-out of Ty Burrell’s real-life wire-walking skills, but that’s only a guess. If so, then the writers should be punished for such a lazy story concept.

“How awesome are people?” “So awesome.”

“You’re a freshman, what are you doing in second year math.” “You’re a senior, what are you doing in second year math?”

“‘And yet I see now children emerging from your vehicle.’ And yet I see my fist emerging into your face. Oh! Now I think of it!”

“Downside, I don’t know what the next stage is. I doubt it’s ‘charming party guest’.”

“Chickeninabasket!”

“Cam, I don’t have all day to describe my meals to you.”

                           

“Juice fast?” “I’m pretty sure he said ‘Jew’.”

“Where I come from, it goes wife, mistress, dog.”

“You know who else needed air? SNORKLES!”

“If I can do this, then I’ve got two ways of going across my yard.”