The 2011 Emmy Awards

It’s that time once again boys and girls, time to turn on the television only to realize that most people don’t actually watch television. That’s right…it’s the Emmy Awards! Like just about every Emmy awards past, it was an opportunity for the people in Hollywood to feel good about themselves, and for telephiles on their couch to just scratch their head whilst simultaneously beating it against the wall. Click through to see my breakdown of the winners, and click here to look at my Emmy predictions. Cross compare for even more fun!

Comedy

Supporting Actress: Julie Bowen, Modern Family

In a field that doesn’t include either Alison Brie or Gillian Jacobs, I was never going to be happy about who won this award. But given the Bowen is often asked to play the shrill nag – especially in the shows second season – I’m a bit disappointed that the award went to her. It’s not that I don’t think she’s good – she is quite funny – but I don’t think she every stretched herself enough to earn this award. But then again, the Emmys aren’t really about stretching; they’re about loud comedic performances, and that’s what she does, and does well.

Supporting Actor: Ty Burrell, Modern Family

Let’s face it: this award should have gone to Chris Colfer, but we also must consider that Glee isn’t really a comedy. (Or maybe the voters felt his Golden Globe win was enough validation.) In that case, Burrell is always awesome as Phil Dunphy, AND his performance is that kind that Emmy voters love. Considering how often he makes me laugh, I can’t argue with this win. (Plus he gave an acceptance speech that was both heartfelt AND actually funny. It’ll probably be the only one of the night.)

Directing: Michael Allen Spiller, Modern Family

The episode in question was “Halloween”, which was much better than “Slow Down Your Neighbors” or “See You Next Fall”. Other than that, I have no thoughts.

Writing: Steven Levitan & Jeffrey Richmond, Modern Family

I’m not exactly sure which episode Modern Family got this nomination for, but I’m going to go ahead and say that Louie’s “Poker/Divorce” was better, even if it wasn’t as funny.

Lead Actor: Jim Parsons, Big Bang Theory

So, Carrell didn’t win for “Goodbye, Michael”? Look, Parsons is a fantastic actor, but if the Emmys can’t recognize a great exit performance, or at least give out an Exit Emmy, then why the hell do we trust them to tell us what constitutes quality television? Upside: Baldwin didn’t win just for playing five different versions of himself. Other Upside: We now know that Carrell will when a Guest Star Emmy when he inevitably returns to the show.

Lead Actress: Melissa McCarthy, Mike & Molly

Why did McCarthy win? Because she was in Bridesmaids. That, and so the Emmys can claim they don’t just award “pretty” actresses. Yes she’s funny, but not nearly as funny as Poehler, Fey, or Plimpton. Upside: SUCK IT, SHOWTIME!

Reality/Variety

The opening montage is the perfect example of why nobody takes the reality genre seriously, regardless of the fact that there are SOME well-produced shows in the genre. (BTW, setting the montage to The Heavy/Black-Eyed Peas doesn’t automatically make it inspirational.)

Outstanding Reality Program: Amazing Race

Surprise, surprise.

Writing for a Variety Series: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

Normally this is Colbert’s category, with Daily Show getting the win for best variety series, so this is techinally an upset. But Stewart and Colbert are more or less equitable in this category, so it’s not like either deserved to lose to any other program.

Directing for Variety: Don Roy King, SNL

Sure, whatevs. Like King said, it probably helped that he submitted the episode with Justin Timberlake and Lady Gaga, it was a good one.

Best Variety Series: The Daily Show

Nine straight years. Even the writers – via the mouths of Anna Paquin and Scott Caan – didn’t bother pretending as if anybody else would win.

Drama

Really? How is this not the last section of the night? Don’t they know that nobody cares about the Movie/Miniseries awards?

Writing: Jason Katims, Friday Night Lights

I’m going to assume this was for the supposedly awesome series finale. I get it Emmys, I need to get around to watching FNL, and I swear I’m on top of it. But did the Mad Men episode “The Suitcase” really deserve this?

Supporting Actress: Margo Martindale, Justified

The first truly deserving win of the night. Why? Whoop. Dee. Doo. FUCK YEAH. (But seriously Margo, you should check those spoilers at the door.)

Directing: Martin Scorcese, Boardwalk Empire

Well, duh. But in all seriousness, regardless of how predictable of a win this is, Scorcese deserves it. It was a fantastic pilot, and it’s telling that it was also the best episode of the season.

Supporting Actor: Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones

Perhaps Dinkalge’s win, much like Melissa’s McCarthy’s, was another attempt by the Emmys to not appear superficial. On the other hand, he was awesome in the role, and he deserves it. (Yet I must admit, I would have preferred Walton Goggins to win, and Braugher win would have just felt like schadenfreude for TNT’s cancellation of Men of a Certain Age.)

Lead Actress: Juliana Margulies

Here’s another one of those times where my lack to total TV knowledge bumps up against my own personal tastes. But here’s my take: Elisabeth Moss, who should have won, lost because of the subdued nature of her performance, while Margulies, who is on a network show, gives the more over performance that the Emmy voters are looking for.

Lead Actor: Kyle Chandler

File this one under “Exit Emmy”. Again, my lack of knowledge makes me not totally capable of commenting, but: A) I was not aware that Chandler actually had a southern accent and B) This officially makes “The Suitcase” the biggest bust in Emmy History. (And so what if Jon Hamm didn’t win…THAT’S WHAT THE MONEY IS FOR!)  And given that Cranston was out of the running, this was probably Hamm’s last chance to win, too….

[And here’s where I checked out to go watch Breaking Bad instead. I believe I made the right choice, and I have to rely on the internet for the rest of these nominations. If any of what I wrote here was wrong, that’s why.]

Movie/Minseries

The category – of which I am in no way familiar with – was dominated by Downton Abbey and Mildred Pierce. In no way was anybody surprised by this. Let’s move on.

Writing: Julian Fellowes, Downton Abbey

Supporting Actress: Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey

Lead Actor: Barry Pepper, The Kennedys

Okay, so The Kennedys winning something was weird. But without upset like this, no one would feel any reason to turn into the award show.

Directing: Brian Percival, Downton Abbey

Supporting Actor: Guy Pearce, Mildred Pierce

Lead Actress: Kate Winslet, Mildred Pierce

Best Mini-Series/Movie: Dowton Abbey

Outstanding Show

Drama: Mad Men

For the drama that can’t win anything else, here’s the Best Drama award. While it’s in no way surprising that the show won for a fourth year in a row, but it is surprising that the show didn’t win anything else. (And an Alan Sepinwall so helpfully pointed out, the show has never won an acting Emmy. But I already gave my theory on that.) I’m also shocked that FNL didn’t get yet another Exit Emmy, but let’s just be glad that Mad Men got recognized for something.

Comedy: Modern Family

And the comedy mediocrity continues. Admittedly, for a field that doesn’t recognize Community, it shouldn’t be a surprised that Emmy voters went with something safe like this. But –and let’s all say it together – PARKS AND RECREATION should have won. If Mad Men was finally able to beat continual drama winner FNL, why couldn’t P&R do the same to Modern Family?

Other Thoughts:

As a host, Jane Lynch did exactly what she was supposed to do: she told the jokes as written, she got the thing done in less than three hours, and she kept a smile on her face while doing it. No more, no less. Odds are she won’t be returning to host for quite a long while.

Of course the opening video featured a lengthy signing performance from Lynch. The only acceptable part of that whole thing? Seeing Leonard Nemoy and the President of Televison

The Emmy-tones? What the fuck? This is how we thank talented people like Joel McHale, Zachary Levi, and Wilmer Valderrama? No wonder nobody likes you, Emmys.

Once again, the Emmys decided to break down the awards by Drama, apparently not realizing that nobody likes sitting through that Mini-series/movie stretch.

Charlie Sheen took a moment out of his presentation of an award to give props to Two and a Half Men. Apparently someone’s in a 12-step program, finally.

When I first saw Amy Poehler get up to during the announecement of her nomination, I laughed. When all the other actresses did it, I got weirded out. When I learned that this was all planned by Poehler, I grew to love her even more.

Seeing all of those actors on The Office set was awkward. The one exception was seeing Jesse Pinkman dropping off meth for Creed. Now that was awesome.

So the Loney Island/Michael Bolton medley… why?

I realize that Anderson Cooper is game for anything, but did he really have to do that awful New Jersey-centric sketch?

Please stop trying to make the Charlie’s Angels reboot seem relevant. Just stop.

The “In Memoriam” segments are never really a show highlight, but this presentation, with a live version of “Hallelujah”, was just awful. And tacky. Awcky? Tawful? Both?