Season 6, Episode 23
A frustrating end to a frustrating character
“There are certain moments in life when you have to decide which things we can stand to see torn down, and which things you have to preserve, no matter what.”
-Ted
Ted’s break-up with Zoey should have been a happy moment for me, or at least a cathartic one. The character has been such a drain on the show that I could have sworn that I would have enjoyed the episode where she finally leaves, if not on an artistic level than at least on a personal one. Yet instead I was left with “Landmarks,” a terrible episode that felt like it had to drag me through the ringer one more time before it let me go.
Look, as I’ve said before, I do try and find the good moments in storylines that I have long ago given up on. (Why else do you think I enjoyed “Oh, Honey” so much?). And I tried to that here as well, yet the show just wouldn’t let me. Though Zoey not being the mother has always been a bit of a sticking issue for me, it’s never been the worst thing about her, or why I am so against her arc. I have, as point of contrast, enjoyed the Robin, Stella, and Victoria arcs because even though I knew they were not the mother, they certainly did bring something to the table. (Well, okay, Stella’s usefulness may have receded in later episode, but Sarah Chalke’s almost always funny, so she gets a pass.) But I was never intrigued by Karen because her uselessness was apparent right from the beginning, and I’m saying that as man who enjoys seeing douchey Ted.
But Zoey has more or less been a drag from the start, beginning with the fact that the two were set up in an over-obvious antagonism-that-will-lead-to-romance dynamic, and ending with the fact that Zoey ended up using an incriminating tape against the man that she supposedly loves. It’s like the show wants us to outright hate her, yet can’t seem to find a better outlet for her character, and the swift downfall into outright villainy was just jarring.
Yet even that wouldn’t have been so bad if the show had left the other characters alone. Look, last week I bought that Ted would fight to save the Arcadian because it’s important to Zoey – he’s a romantic like that. And I also get that he would want to see Zoey to say goodbye to her without her even knowing – again, that’s in character for him. But getting from Point A to Point B required a very quick turnaround in Ted’s outlook on the building (TWO DAYS!) and that’s not something I could by. Even if Robin’s speech to Ted was well-delivered, Ted is a fairly stubborn guy, and it should have taken much longer for him to break on this issue. (And while we’re at it, how many more times will we have to watch as Ted defends a relationship that he knows is “against all odds” or whatever? Oh Mother…where are you Mother? Are you at Punchy’s wedding? God I hope so.)
Yet Ted wasn’t the only one affected by Zoey-itis. Though I wasn’t particularly happy with last week’s Marshall vs. Barney storyline (though he’s petulance can be funny, the show has been pushing it lately with how mean Barney can be to his friends), and though I liked that Barney was once again looking out for his friend when he went to Arthur’s office trying to make sure Ted wouldn’t get fired, it was still quite a leap for him to go from outside the group to back in so quickly. (Stick with your story, people!)
Lastly – and I can’t believe I have to say this – nobody would ever think that a lion’s head was a reason to save an old building. (Okay, maybe I’m only saying this as an art history major, but stick with me.) They are in fact usually the tackiest thing about old buildings. And even though you had to know that this statue had some role in buildings preservation/destruction – how many times did the characters talk about how awesome that lion head was? – the idea that the theft of a lion head leads to the destruction of a building is just too fucking ridiculous to believe. It’s too stupid and simple to work, and it’s an easy way out of a storyline that the show never should have started in the first place.
I don’t want to say that this episode was all bad – I certainly enjoyed the return of Bob Odenkirk as Arthur Hobbs and all of his talk about Tugboat, and I also enjoyed Marshall’s little rhymes sprinkled throughout the episode. But for an episode written by Bays & Thomas – who managed to get some good moments even in the midst of season five – it was just a complete letdown, and certainly not up to the season-ending quality that we have grown accustomed to from the show. Maybe this will all turn around next week as Ted finally meets the mother (right? Please tell me that’s going to happen), but I also thought that the two of them could pull some sort of win out of this storyline – the show has done some good work with breakup episodes in the past – and that couldn’t manage that. This just might be a bad omen of things to come.
Quotes, Etc.:
“Okay, it’s killing me – what goes with ‘beck-and-call’?”
“If you end an argument with a rhyme, it’s convincing all the time.”
“I understand….Zoey has magic lady bits.”
We might not know what Barney does at GNB, but we do know he has a lot of keys.
New bar idea: Courtroom theme. People come, then they get served.
“You’re not Tugboat! You’ll never be Tugboat!”
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